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Aile A Evlilik Danışmanı İlişki Uzmanı Prof Dr Ekrem Çulfa 0533-3738123
ekremculfa@hotmail.com
Communication Problems and Solutions in Relationships
17/05/2021
Communication Problems and Solutions in Relationships

Communication, which has taken place from the beginning of its history to the present and has a large share in all developments that are still happening, unfortunately, can cause big problems when used in an unhealthy way.
Our communication mistakes that we ignore, ignore, ignore or simplify in today's conditions affect us immensely by causing the relations to break down completely and even an increase in hostility.
Failure to meet the most basic expectations both in our family-marriage life and in our bilateral relationships, in our friend groups and in our other social environment creates some wounds. It may be inevitable that the wounds caused by communication errors are reflected in the language during communication. In fact, this reflection in communications can lead to communicative failures, problems, showdowns and then some ruptures.

What are the Basic Communication Problems in Bilateral Relations?
To find basic communication problems, let's focus on where the communication problem started and how it continues. Excitement is at its peak! Here's a tip: As we all know, there are some emotional responses that we often expect in our relationships. Is not it? Uh… or I can hear you say Yaaa Yeah. When we do not get these emotional responses that we expect from our partner or partner, there are two options; We either suppress our emotions or fight to get that answer. Our war to get what we want is expressed in communication; It can be reflected in a critical, responsible, accusatory, or even egocentric attitude. When an attempt is made to identify the culprit and show that he is right, two parties have already formed an automatic relationship. However, even if we want love, it cannot contain bias. Two people who have decided to walk on the same road cannot be on different sides and separate fronts. This is where the miscommunication or unhealthy communication starts that can be dangerous for the relationship.
One of the basic rules of sustainable, healthy and ideal communication is to create a trust area. If our communication space is unsafe, we immediately awaken a sense of alertness. This feeling prompts us to stay on the defensive or to deal with the feeling of not being understood.
Creating a safe space in the relationship starts with knowing that the other person is there willing to listen and understand us. If we want to have a healthy communication, we need to know that we will be understood and not judged during communication. Couples who provide this trust also need to show continuity in their communication in their relationships.

Where Are Technical Errors Done In Communication In Bilateral Relations?
The basic mistakes made during communication can be listed as follows;
1-) FOCUSING ON THE PAST AND OPENING CONTINUOUS BOOKS:
Focusing on the past and constantly opening the old notebooks can bring about the repeated discussions of the problems that seem to have been solved but not solved in fact. Thus, the couples put solving their actual problems to the second plan. As a result, this is nothing more than adding a new one to the problems that have not been solved. Is not it? Just like I can hear you say.

2-) DO NOT BELIEVE, DO NOT CARE:
There are a number of defensive mechanisms that each person uses specifically. Ignoring, ignoring, avoiding, and ignoring are just a few of them. Evaluating the thoughts, feelings, and reactions to any event, situation and attitude in a relationship causes us to see the effect of the situation on our partner, as well as to ensure correct communication and some communication accidents. Of course, there will be differences in thought, emotion and behavior patterns among the partners, but empathy will make it easier to understand and understand, and it will show that the issue is not to impose a behavior, emotion or thought to the other party, but to be listened and understood in a healthy way by the partner.

3) SHORT AND WALL KNITTING:
If you are offended or formally disrupt communication by building thick walls. Now you and your partner are dealing with an unsolved issue. Also, you didn't even leave a defense zone. What will we do in this situation? First of all, start by thinking about what this situation will give you. In this case, one or both sides may experience a feeling of guilt. Someone who feels guilty will find it very difficult to reveal the full potential of what they can do for the relationship. Let's always keep this in mind, remember that people can strive more easily when they feel safe by nature.                      4-) JUDGMENT BY GENERALIZATION, TO CRUISE:
Judging or blaming by generalizing puts the person into despair. In fact, it causes him to see himself as inadequate and always like that. On the other hand, when we talk about judgment and accusation while communicating, we need to accept that the person in front of us will listen not to understand us but to defend himself. When we come across accusation and judgment sentences, we immediately activate our primitive brain. While this situation causes us to break away from rational thinking and come under the control of emotions, anger and anger begin to dominate people. Thus, the results we need to draw from the incident may vary. However, communication is essential not what I understand, but what I am told.

5-) READING THE BRAIN:
Finally, we can talk about a behavior that we can describe as trying to read the brain or thinking instead of others, which is a big problem. He doesn't love me anymore so he acts like that, he's mad at me and doesn't talk to me because he wants to punish it, etc. Our behavior of trying to know the real thoughts of the other person about us without knowing ...
In fact, if we want a healthy communication in the relationship, we should say stop to these references that we frequently refer to in our daily life. If you are experiencing communication, harmony, etc. problems in your relationships despite everything, you can make an appointment individually or as a couple by calling our professional helpline +905447243650.


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